


isak x jonas | is it me?

by WritenStuff



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Memories, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-09-18 05:51:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9370934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritenStuff/pseuds/WritenStuff
Summary: When Jonas asks Isak those three little words, Isak thinks back to a time when the answer might have been yes.





	

“Is it me?” Jonas questioned almost casually. Too casually.

If Isak’s heart hadn’t already been racing, it definitely would have kicked up a notch. In a split second, memories crashed over him like a tidal wave, reminding him of old and forgotten feelings. Feelings that had long since been shelved. They seemed ridiculous now. Immature and cliched. Even more so now that he could decipher them, put a name to them. Now that – more importantly - he could accept them.

Had he loved Jonas? No, probably not. A crush was a term more befitting to describe what he’d felt. If Isak was honest with himself - and that was apparently his gig now - he had played a similar conversation to this in his head once or twice before. Albeit without the kebabs.

In the moments just before sleep takes you, when you’re not quite sure if you’re awake and imagining or asleep and dreaming. Isak had told himself he was dreaming - you weren’t responsible for your dreams. He’d imagine a world in which things were different. A world in which he was different - Jonas too. Where he felt no fear, no shame. A place where he could tell the boy he liked that he liked him, without repercussions. Without ruining a friendship or having people look at him differently. In those moments of half sleep, everything was on his terms. Everything was perfect. Vulnerability didn’t exist.

When Dream Jonas smiled lightly and asked, “Is it me?” Isak didn’t hesitate. His heart was steady because he didn’t need to be nervous. Half Sleep Isak would smile back and reach for Dream Jonas’ hands, intertwining their fingers - something he’d always wanted to do. “Yes,” he’d reply easily. “It’s you, it’s always been you.”

Sure it was cheesy as fuck but wasn’t that the fun of romantic declarations? Either way, Isak didn’t need to take responsibility for it, still telling himself it was a dream. Not his fault. He dreamed all types of weird shit.

Dream Jonas would then tug Half Sleep Isak to him by their joined hands and deliver an answering kiss. No more words needed to be spoken because they both just knew.

Fade to black.

Or… possibly to Isak’s bedroom, depending how he was feeling that evening. He was a teenage boy after all.

But this, today, was real life. This wasn’t a dream, figment of his imagination or whatever. And he wasn’t the same guy he was when it had been. Or maybe he was and that was the point. Maybe in those moments just before sleep he was more himself than he’d ever been.

Until he’d met Even, at least. And that’s why he was here. Even was the reason he was having this real life conversation and why the idea he ever thought the answer to Jonas’ question would be yes seemed ridiculous now.

So when the tidal wave of memories shrank back from the shore, Isak could answer with the utmost sincerity, “No! You?! No, no, no, no!”

Okay, perhaps he’d wandered into ‘the lady doth protest too much’ territory. Maybe he still needed to work on being as chill and self-assured as Half Sleep Isak. The important thing was he was moving in the right direction and that direction was freedom. With that in mind, Isak finally came out to his best friend.

The rest, as they say, is history. 


End file.
